I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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