try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
