I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize