When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
