she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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