More tranny stories later!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
