i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize