i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
