I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
