I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
