i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i love accidental penises.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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