you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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