Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
