From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
