just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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