she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
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hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
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Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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