At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
