to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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