No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
