i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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