yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
