i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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