So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Green mimosas i think yes
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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