it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
