Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
