And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
