I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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