people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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