it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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