I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
