i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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