I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
