Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
