Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize