Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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