i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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