he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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