You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize