you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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