If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
