Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
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