i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
