I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
