I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
