Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize