I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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