Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
