i just wanna soil my oats bro
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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