erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
