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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?

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• (585): View more from New York

  with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (646): View more from New York

  He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...

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• (315): View more from New York

  It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.

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