the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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