Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
