we're blogging at a bar
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
