Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
