Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
