My Higher Power is John Stamos
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
