No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
NoShamevember. You game?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
