he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
