Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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