those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
