I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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