one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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