Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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