I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
