I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
