Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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