She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
