Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
